The Ghost of You
by EllaBella18
Summary: Its been eight months, fifteen days, and 38 minutes since he left her. And there were still days where just getting out of bed was too hard to bear the thought of. Other days she some how manages to forget about it--to forget about him. Angsty Oneshot.


So this here is a Christmas Present for one of my favorite people ever. Manda I hope you like your present. Sorry its so angsty, but you told me that you like Chuck and Blair better angsty so...this is what I came up with lol. I love ya and I hope your Christmas is amazing.

Merry Christmas to all of you as well and I hope you guys have a fab New Year!

**-x-**

Its been eight months, fifteen days, and 38 minutes since he left her. And there were still days where just getting out of bed was too hard to bear the thought of. Other days she some how manages to forget about it--to forget about him. But it all comes rushing back to her at night as she lies awake in her bed.

She remembers the day exactly as it happened. It'd had been a typical day. She'd had lunch with Serena and Nate, just the three of them, since he was away on a business trip. She'd gone shopping and picked up a few new things for their penthouse. Then she came home and started to get ready. He was supposed to be home by five and then they were going to go to dinner, because well, she's Blair Waldorf-Bass and she doesn't cook.

She remembers that at quarter to six she was pacing in their bedroom furious at him that he was late once again. And then the phone rang.

To this day she has no idea how Nate and Serena got to her house. She assumes that they were together. She doesn't remember getting from their bedroom to their living and collapsing in a heap of tears. All she does remember is they were shown in by the doorman and they found her in a collapsed heap on the floor. Nate picked her up and placed her on the couch where Serena immediately took her into her arms and just let her cry for hours. Until she thought it wasn't possible to cry anymore.

She doesn't remember how she explained to their four year old daughter that daddy was never going to come home again. She doesn't remember his funeral or who was there, what flowers were there or what was said. She didn't make the arrangements, she had been too distraught for that, Serena and Nate had taken care of everything.

They'd arranged everything from the flowers to who took care of Blythe for the service. They'd arranged who spoke, where it took place, and what it said on the tombstone. Serena even laid out the black dress and shoes that Blair wore that afternoon. She remembers standing there, motionless, tears streaming down her face. She also remembers going home and throwing away the dress and shoes--she never wanted to have to look at them again.

She doesn't really remember much during the following couple of months either. She remembers spending a lot of time in bed, tearing herself up because before she'd gotten the call she'd been angry and annoyed with him for being late.

She couldn't believe that after everything they'd gone through in their lives together that he could be taken away from her so quickly and so cruelly. He'd been driving down the highway when someone crashed into the car from behind and sent him flying right into an oncoming transport truck. The other driver had a broken arm. She just didn't understand the justice of it all.

She remembers one day two months later when Serena came storming in claiming she had to pull herself together--if not for herself then for her daughter. And as she listed to Serena tell her she was all Blythe had left and that she needed her mother. Blair Waldorf-Bass was a lot of things, but she did not want to be like her own parents. That day she got dressed for the first time in weeks.

She finds that she still waits to hear his key in the lock, or his voice all out for her at the end of the day. She sometimes still expects little text messages or quick calls in between their busy schedules. And then when she realizes it won't happen she feels like her world falls out from her once again.

Serena and Nate, really Dan and Jenny too, have been there for her through everything. Serena usually picks up Blythe from school since she's finished at work before Blair. Nate and Dan make sure that everything is working in her house and they've become crazy protective of her daughter too. And on the days that Serena can't watch Blythe in the afternoons, Jenny usually does, because that's the kind of thing former Constance queen b's do for each other.

She knows that its a long hard road ahead of her. And the thought of facing the rest of her life without him is almost enough to send her into hysterics, but she's Blair Waldorf-Bass, and eventually, one day, it won't hurt to get up in the morning and she won't cry herself to sleep. Because we all need time.


End file.
